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“To travel is to live.” -Hans Christian Andersen

Wednesday, August 3, 2011 @ 3:24 PM

Ever wondered what life would be like if some choices weren't made?

No, I never regretted most of my life choices, but just wondering. What if I studied during my O levels, would I have ended up in AE or AMS instead? Would I still have picked RMT over them? Would I have scored well enough for Psychology? Thinking back now, I'm really glad I chose RMT. Though I'm not certain which path I want to continue on after graduation, I know business is my thing, not engineering.

But at the end of 3 years, what do I want? What do I expect from this est. $40k education? Will I be able to make enough money to cover this education cost in a year? 2 years? Will I be able to afford University if I were to choose it? Will I have to part time work and study to pay for U? Will that even be enough? What if I can never afford U?

I'm starting to plan ahead, months at a time. This time, not only in the form of materialistic buys but also, education. I keep thinking, how much money to put into each event? The trip to Korea. Sufficient backup money. McQueen clutch. Chanel bag. JC shoes. Renovations. University. Possible further education. Will I ever be able to afford all these?

Let's face it, I wasn't born with a silver spoon. I will never ever be able to afford much without saving, working, and being shrewd. I no longer make impulse purchases just because I'm not the one paying. Even though I still can't fully pay my own bills, I try to pay half of them, or maybe a quarter.... or a smaller fraction. But that's not the point.

I've come to realize that I will never be able to afford everything I want. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try. I've been eating breakfast from home and lunch in the evenings at home just to save some money. I've cut down my online and physically purchases by about 300% and guess what. All I've got is a meager $xxx. Not even 4 digits. And I still owe my mum money. If I were to repay them all, I doubt I can even afford my next meal.

Do I blame the society for influencing me, us? Everything is about brands now. Brands label you. I become more materialistic with each passing day. I won't deny. I save so much, just to buy something materialistic and regret later, because if I ever changed my mind about U, all those money spent would've been put to better use with education. Then again, so many graduates nowadays Starting pay? $2k? So pathetic.

My thoughts are in a huge jumble, all because of money. The affordability of things is no longer there. Singapore is becoming a really expensive place to live in. Basic things like a pack of this orange drink. Got it at about S$4.50 in Lombok and its S$9 here in NTUC. Cab fare. A 10mins trip to school costs about $7 on the average, whereas a 30mins trip to the city costs the same there. Of course, the state of the economy, safety and everything else can't be compared. We're paying premium prices to live in a more 'premium' place. But is it worth it?

Ugh I'm rambling on pointless & nonsensical stuff again...


I

samantha t.
too tall for my own shoes

1993
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