Thursday, February 18, 2010 @ 12:47 AM
Teng Soon Quee,
From this moment on, I am officially (but not approved by the law) not your child. I emancipate myself from you, whether anyone objects or not. It is not your choice. Nothing you ever do will change it, not even if you die.
Fuck you and your ego. Since you like Geylang so much, why not move to there? Why don't you just buy a chicken to marry and fuck that China bitch for all it's worth? Nothing, just like you. Nothing. A worthless being. At least, China prostitutes are selling their body to help their family back in China. Your family, is here. Wait, I take that back. I am NOT your family anymore. You have no rights over me.
This past year, I've been treating you as invisible. I tune out whatever you say. If I can't do that, it comes in on ear, and out the other. I do not see you, even if you are blocking my way. You are nothing, not there at all. But that is too much for you to handle, ain't it? One whole year, for you to fucking apologise to me, did you? Too proud to do so right?
If there's anything I learnt in Secondary 4, it's "Choices have consequences". Since your choice is to live like you did no wrong, like you are always right, like you are the king. Face this consequence. I am no longer your daughter. It's not important I guess, because you hate me as much as I hate you. Don't you?
Didn't you hate me so much, for you to strangle me? I should have reported as abuse, make it into an official police report. I don't see why I shouldn't. We were quarrelling, you and I were screaming. You had to resort to violence, I tolerated. You strangled. Even if I had started that quarrel, which I know I did not, you strangling me was an offence. The police not coming was thanks to Mummy. You have to thank her that your rotting butt is not in trouble.
Everytime we quarrel, every single time, I end up being the victim of domestic violence. Everyone thinks it's not true, they think I'm exaggerating, because I have never spilled it all out. I have never made it known that I had a father so violent, he wanted his daughter dead. But because of all these bullshit that you give, I'm stronger emotionally. I will not let myself be bullied by you. The next conflict between us that involves violence, the police is coming in and my story is going out. You think I should apologise because I'm in the wrong? You think I need your forgiveness? Please, wake up from that thinking.
Even if I had to live away from this home, I would. I'm not even tearing while typing these kind of things anymore, so what makes you think I will cry and beg you? YOU are the one who is in the wrong. YOU are the one who has to apologise. I'm glad I never gave in again. But it's too late. Too late for regrets. I will never forgive you. Not even if you make a public apology. Not anymore.
Right now, I not only hate you. I detest you, dislike you, abhor you, despise you even. Then again, I don;t even see the need to. I plain despise you. Why should I hate you?
Disrespect. Tell me about it. You don't deserve my respect. What have you done these few years to deserve it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You go holidays without your family, you go to Geylang 6 days a week, you smoke in the house, you on your music so loud and make life difficult for us. Everything you do, makes me despise you more. When we do the same thing, you scold. But you, on the other hand, can do it. You don't even set a good example. You don't even set examples. You only do what you want, when you want, and it's all about you. Time to wake up, the world does not revolve around you.
Guess why am I tolerating you? Because of Mummy.
If it wasn't for her, you wont be anything. No car for you to show off. No money for you to spend. Nobody to wash your clothes, nobody to clean the house. Nobody to serve your fucking ass. What if one day she divorces you? I know she won't, you know she won't. But what if? You'll be left with nothing at all. The house won't be all yours. You will have no children, nobody at all. You are nothing without her. If she ever makes that decision, I will be the happiest. We both know who the children will follow. Even right now. If Fatchy were to choose to go out with Mummy, or you, who would she choose?
I don't know how I feel about you. But for someone so violent and egoistic like you, it's definitely not a good thing. I'm not going to pretend anymore. Anything I'm unhappy about, I will voice it out, whether it's in front of family or friends. Whether if it's embarrassing or ridiculous or whatever it is. And if you ever get into trouble with the law about anything, I'm going to voice out the truth and I think, it wouldn't look good on you.
I'm not angry anymore. You don't piss me off. I just hold no respect for you anymore. You are worse than a dog, way worse.
Thanks for nothing, anyway.
Labels: not legally emancipated but done