A few minutes ago..

Shinsuke says:
zomg
im seriously doubting ur gender
where got girl so... -.-

I'm so tired. I'm really SO tired. Feels like I can just lie on my bed and immediately fall asleep, but I can't! This whole week was filled with short nights. I get quite nervous that I can't sleep -.-

But it's getting better. O Level Papers are like normal exams to me now. Got used to it already I guess..

Have been meeting Andy for the week, and tomorrow too. He's like my life-saviour! Okay, that's too exaggerated. Without his help, and of course, Sam & Mindy's, I don't think I will do well at all lor! Now I got a glimmer of hope ley :B. EMaths would have been like how I did my AMaths and AMaths would probably be blank throughout.

Humanities and Sciences next week. I'm gonna do it!



Went to Bugis today. Had dinner at HipDiner but ate fairly little cause my stomach wasn't well): Then walked around Bugis; Topshop and Dorothy Perkins. Topshop didn't have the dress, and the shirt from Dorothy Perkins in the colour I want was left with UK20. Before my exam today also went to Tampines One to look for the shirt, but they didn't even have that range lor! ):

Didn't go to Topshop at Tampines. Maybe on Monday, in between the papers I will :D.

Walked to Haji Lane to theblogshop after that. I thought at 8pm+ it would be fairly empty, but it was quite crowded lor. Mood totally ruined cause I don't like crowded shops:\. But it's okay. Can tell most of the clothes probably won't fit me. Shoes will definitely not fit me either.

Shoes! Topshop. The beige ones! $39 that one. Super comfortable, and I can wear the Large size for those^^! But seems impractical. Still don't know if they're for outdoor or indoor wear >.>. To me it's outdoors lor. Okay whatever. Must get them if they ever go on sale. &I saw another pair today. Flat ankle boots. Also VERY comfortable. And it's sized UK8, my shoe size ley :B

Ah shut up. Forget it. Shall not talk about it cause I'm very tempted to buy.

Airport tomorrow afternoon.


Reality is sinking in. I may fail the AMaths paper altogether. Hope lies in tomorrow's Paper 2. I'm going to cram everything else into my head tomorrow morning. On the brighter side, I actually did more than half of the paper! Normally I can only manage at most 2 questions?! There's an improvement!

Went to Suntec to meet Mummy after my paper today. Spent about $6 on trains and buses in the past three days! Intended to get the Topshop's one off dress. Tried one at TampinesOne on Wednesday but it was too big. Plus it's a sale-sale item! They can't check stocks for that, and I'm a little discouraged ): cause both Suntec and Marina's outlets don't have it!!

Bugis, Haji Lane, and maybe Bugis Street tomorrow, depending on how much time I would have. Paper ends at 5pm tomorrow. I'm so tired now. This whole week was filled with late nights and early mornings. Gonna watch ANTM at 11 and go sleep after that.

To get:

1. Dress from Topshop
2. Shirt from Dorothy Perkins
3. Bag from F.E.P at a much cheaper price
4. Pens from Muji
   

That should be all.

Urgh, okay shut up. I just want to shop.


The first 3 days of papers were encouraging ^^.

I was happily being happy about it when when you simply had to spoil my mood. Thanks man. Zz. Have you ever thought that you only know how to say I buy things and waste money, and not say Pearlyn? SHE NEVER SPEND MONEY MEH? SHE NEVER BUY THINGS MEH? Huh, you tell me.

My patience also got limit one okay. I spend, but I don't ask for extra money. I buy, but I save to buy.

Whole day only know how to say about me. ^$*@^$*@^$*@^$*@^$*@^$*@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

efwsrhtwhrtjryklrtxdrhweohroiwhitgwsuhguioawhgioaerhearg


Today's English went pretty well, I guess. Was quite hyped up about it. Also VERY nervous. Seriously. English may be my forte, but I can't help but worry. What if I lost my touch and make stupid error like these? Or worse, speel simple words rongly? In the end, I don't think I made those kinds of mistakes.

Went out with Adloy &Kiko on Saturday. As usual, we were late. Not much of Samantha-late this time though.. Basically, we just went around looking at things. The boots and Topshop are one of the most comfortable ones around! Don't know if it's suitable to wear in the streets of Singapore though. As in, whether it would be warm and if people would laugh. People would! You don't know how narrow-minded some people are.

Then, we went to Far East Plaza! I FELL IN LOVE WITH A BAG. It's very overpriced, at $69.90. But I love it a lot): Kiko's hunting for a cheaper alternative for me now. It's like omfg nice. But seriously, it's very overpriced lor!!

Shortly after, Adloy decided to pangseh us so Kiko &I went to Tampines to walk around instead. Bought a super adorable 2010 planner and a Pikachu Christmas card :D



Last Thursday was sucky. Thanks to the `quarantine` and the silly quiz which the teacher forced upon me. I mean, what the fuck please. The computer in the school library didn't want to open the disc. Don't expect me to try all 8 computers there! Crazy fruit. Each computer takes like 5minutes to start up lor. In the end, used the TA's computer in Lab 5, where there was a problem too. In the end, the TA solved it, SO IS NOT I DON'T WANT TO/NEVER TRY LOR. My computer literacy is not that good.

But whatever.

Rushed to meet Bitch at Tampines after that, a whole 2hours late. Went to Bugis Street with $2 in my possession. Felt so weird. Bet I was the only O level student who went straight after exam there. But got quite a few things nice ley! Also saw Peggy's shop. Saw quite a few items I was interested in from outside, but was promptly dragged away by the bitch >.>

Bought his vest after about 2hours, at 10% off.

Went home, and went for yogaaaaaaaaaaa.



My Sundays will start very early from now on. Amanda and Pearlyn's tuition now starts at 9.15 so we have to leave the house by 8.30 and I have to wake up at like what 7.30! Cause I have to bathe before I go out. Never had that habit, until I was influenced by X.



Earlier today, in the evening, til about 11pm. I was fervently doing a Math's paper ^^. It's 2.15 in the morning now. Got to be up at about 8 later. Don't know how to get to school. Hate taking the bus there cause it's so inconvenient. Don't want to cab there cause it will cost about $7. I'm on a mission to save money.

I want to go to Haji Lane. I want that bag from F.E.P. I want O levels to end soon.

Actually, O levels will end soon! For me, it's in another 15 days. A little more than 2 weeks. 加油:B


Finished Gossip Girl, going to sleep now ^^. Two hours earlier. Hopefully, I sleep by midnight tomorrow night. Really need the sleep. Also looking forward to Thursday afternoon, cause it's day out with the bitch!


Intended to study a little tonight. But ultimately decided against it because I wanted to watch Gossip Girl episode 6, and my constant trips to the toilet wouldn't make it very productive..

Today is probably the only time I'll remember getting food poisoning.. How can food do this to me):


I need money.

You know what, I can't believe that O levels is SO near. In what, 2 days! I'm going to screw up the practical exam, that's for sure. It's no good to have such a mindset, but on that, I know myself only too well..

Instead of studying today, I actually went out with Kiko and then to meet Mummy and tuition at night. I don't think it's wrong - to not stay home and study my ass off - but I can't help feeling a little guilty. I don't know what I want. I still don't really have a goal yet. Don't know what course I want to take. Felt like retaking the O's again next year, but figured I should just get it done and over with this year.

I don't know? Maybe pre-exam jitters. I get nervous very easily. I hope my pen doesn't slip like in June's Chinese papers. &Yay me, I'm shopping now -.-

My mind is in a whirl. I cannot think properly when I'm nervous. When I get nervous, I forget everything! Ever get that feeling, where you know it, it's right at the tip of your tongue, you explained it over and over to yourself in your head, but the words don't come out as coherently as expected? That's it. It happens to me.

I guess all I have to do is stay calm, and everything I studied and went through will come back to me. Peace.

Feeling the stress now. Like 2 days before. I got to restudy my Humanities! Whatever the outcome though, I must thank the people who actually helped me through this year. Mummy, extended family, Hilary, Miss Nawal, P &VP... It may not be something huge but I'll remember every little thing, no matter how small it is. You don't know what it's been like for me this year. Spiraling down a bottomless well, only to pick myself up a month before the big E.

I'm different. I do things differently. I can't sit and study for 10 hours straight like you do. That 10 hours to me, would be better spent going shopping. I rather spend 3hours studying intensive and giving myself a break than to study for so long and maybe reap the same rewards. To me, time(in this case) is not quality, neither is it quantity.

I keep repeating the same things, but I'm VERY irritated at hypocritical people. Why can't you just come tell me straight?



Did you read my twitter about the incident at NTUC? I'm still a little bugged by that woman. I don't get why she must beg in NTUC, and cry and kneel and be all pitiful. I don't know why she says that she needs $5 for her mum to eat. I don't know, and I don't care. I just don't like it when people bug the ones I love, especially my Mother.

You should have been there. Imagine if you were my mum, and a middle-aged woman was begging and crying and kneeling in front of you-in public-, asking you for $5. You only make enough to make ends meet, although can sometimes afford something a little more.. Doesn't that sound like your typical average Singaporean? WILL YOU GIVE IT TO HER? With $5, I can have 3 meals. 3 meals, mind you. That's a little too much to be asking for, no?

NTUC is quite a funny place. I've seen a boy going around punching people. A kid boy, semi-playfully but it was hard, I can tell. If he hit my mum, I will kick him til the other end of the store, and his mother, WAS DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT.

Wouldn't you be pissed if you were hit?



Okay, enough of ugly things. I want to 培养感情 to sleep, so must not get pissed.

Er, goodnight ^^.


Hate it when people rearrange my things. Even if it's just from one end of the table to the other and still within sight.

Hate it even more when PEARLYN TENG BORROW MY BOX OF MARKERS AND I TOLD HER TO PUT IT BACK WHERE SHE TOOK IT FROM AND SHE FUCKING LEAVES IT IN HER ROOM FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE PUT EVERY SINGLE MARKER BACK. FUCK.

Blame it on the PMS. But not entirely, cause I fucking hate it when MY THINGS are not where I PUT IT.


Lucky I'm a fast learner, or I'd be so dead.


Hypocrite. Shut the fuck up cause I will prove you wrong.

I've nothing to blog about. I shall go study and prove them wrong. I don't believe in studying for 10hours straight daily for maximum results. I believe in trying my best, doing my best, and giving all I can. Although it's just a short 3 hours, it's better than nothing and definitely a great improvement from the previous me.


My room needs to be cleared still. I haven't got around to doing Cleaning Part II.

I feel like going out, heh. But I have to study. It's Friday, in like what, 6days, I'm taking my Science Practical. I'm scared, but I suppress it.



Pardon the stitches, they're 10 years old.



Sense of urgency.

I finally feel a tinge of it. Do you? I realised that it's already the 15th, and I still know nada about Science Practical. Not only that, I don't even know if I'm taking my Chinese Papers the second time round. If I am, I don't have the updated entry proof. I haven't made a simple phone call to ask about it, and I still refuse to budge my ass to school.

Trying, I am. You don't see it, thus you don't feel it. Sometimes, I doubt myself. Whether all I'm doing, is it enough? But I'm like that. I can't sit there and study study study. It's just not my thing, and will be a complete waste of time at the end of the day. I need a conducive time, which is between midnight and 3am. But tonight, I didn't study. That's two nights in a row! Zz.

Last night was due to movie, and tonight because I've cramps and don't feel like.

Starting tomorrow, I will study. I aim to finish all my papers and the Physics TYS before the exam starts. I have to. Otherwise, I don't know how badly I'll do. My goal, is to prove them all wrong. My brain needs to start working. Not me. Time to be disciplined and do my work. I'm going to write a thank you speech one day...

to call school &ask about my second try


dotA is for mindless freaks who has nothing better to do. ^^

Right now, it's 0203h, 15 October 2009. In 7 days, I'm going to take my O level Science Practical. I was never good in science practical. Partly due to lack of attendance and because of my blatant disinterest in it. Therefore, I need a miracle.

In 11 days, I'm going to be taking my O level English Papers 1 and 2. Steady Bom Pi Pi. I'm going to own it, I hope. Have to read through some vocab words though, haven't written Paper 1 since months ago :\. After that, all the papers will just whoosh by, one by one.

But, I haven't revised any bit of my Geography and Social Studies! That's my main concern. I reimproved my EMaths, currently working on Physics and AMaths. I'm going to add Chemistry into my schedule by the end of this week. And when I'm pretty much familiar which all those, my heart goes to Humanities. Sucks, because it's both simple and tough at the same time.

I can memorise, in days. Slow, but I can do it. However, I can't write it essay-style!

I MUST CONTACT MRS FONG AND ASK ABOUT XXX AND 施老师 TO ASK ABOUT XXXXX!

Okay, jiayou. Am I the best O level student ever or what? I just went for a midnight movie when majority of the other students were mugging their asses off. Fortunately, I don't believe in burning the midnight oil. It's about the quality, not the quantity. Although I always study in the middle of the night....but that's different! Because that is my study time. I absorb and understand better before I sleep. And the dry topics will bore me to sleep. Also a cure for my insomnia ^^.

Just texted Kiko to ask her to sleep. Cause she is going to make me study my ass off tomorrow, by hook or by crook. Should text her again, with what I must complete.

Goodnight :D


You know what?

I've been studying! Not intensive cause my brain is not an ultra-absorbent sponge, but enough for me to understand the concepts. I put in at least 3hours per night to study, which is considered an achievement for someone like me; who has hardly ever studied for 3minutes straight.

I have 2 weeks. I will try my best. I may not get straight As but L1R4 of 10 is my target, minimum of 12 is my camera score. I may not achieve it, but I'm very sure I'll do better than the L1R4 of 41 throughout this year.

So screw you all who look down on me, because the day I receive my results will be the day I prove you wrong.



Anyway, movie tonight ^^.

Labels: motivated

AUNTIE EDNA JUST CALLED ME I LOST HER NUMBER AND ADDRESS YEARS AGO BUT SHE JUST CALLED ME AND SHE'S IN HONGKONG LEYYYYY NEXT TIME WHEN I GO TO HONGKONG I WIL FIND HER!!!!!!!!!!


I was packing my things just now. I found my stack of 稿纸. The front was decorated with pictures and words. Which depicted that I liked 奶油. Coming to think of it, I might have, but I was unaware of it at that time.

How time flies.


I want to blog about something, but there's nothing for me to blog about cause my life is uninterestingly boring.

Had wanted to do some watercolor painting earlier on, but my set of paints is not watercolor paints! It's poster color): However, will try, some other day.


Teng Soon Quee,

I will hate you for the rest of your life. No matter what happens. You will still suck, to the core. For the past few years, I've treated myself as a single-parent child. No, I have no father. My family is complete without you, thank you very much.

Remember `YOU WILL BE TRANSPARENT TO ME`? I do. So please treat me like I'm transparent, like what I'm doing to you. Makes me a thousand times happier, honestly. Remember `YOU MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE THIS INSTANT`? I remember that very clearly, but I will not move out. I don't see why I should. You should be the one doing so. Afterall, you don't need this shelter over your head, at all.

I remember, the times you hit me. And I called 999. However, I always lied. Lie about what was going on, whether I was hurt, whether I needed help. All because of Mummy. Without her around, you will not be so lucky. For I can be vile when I want to. And people like you don't deserve my forgiveness, not at all. I hate you so much, since then til now, I sometimes wish you would drop dead.

What have you done for me? Or rather, what have you done for this family? Tell me, 7 days in a week, how many days do you actually come home for dinner? How many days do you stay at home with us? Tell me, what have you done to deserve my respect? Whatever you once did, it was all erased this year, that night.

How many times have this happened so far? Yet, you do nothing to change. To avoid conflicts between us, I avoid you. But you still want to K-P-O kaypo into everything. Let me get this straight, I don't need you to care about me, not at all. I don't want you to care about me. I want you get the fuck out of my life.

`If I could, I'd take out every single cell in me that is linked to him, every single drop of blood, up to the very last drop.`
Well, I still want to.

Make a public apology, maybe I'd consider forgiving you.

Dont use `Your children will do the same to you next time` on me, because I'm not like you. I'm definitely not like you at all. For a start, I have a heart.

So (once again),
Screw you, Teng Soon Quee

我,没有爸爸.


Have a plan in mind. Shall jot down the notes and do a little research. This may be my first step to money:)



Hi, I'm back :D

Got to keep my blog interesting but it's a fairly difficult task for a boring person like me. However, I'm going to try my best!

Today, I went to study with Kiko, at ehub! It was fairly productive, fortunately. But I then realised that I must study alone, without the presence of food. Actually, I prefer to be with food. Motivates me. I love, Love, LOve, LOVe, LOVE, LOVEE, LOVEEE -okay you get the idea- 蚝煎 nowadays. So far, the best I had was the one at Changi Village, followed by the one at Tiong Bahru market, then to Blk 444's. Actually, I only had 蚝煎 from these 3 places la, &I ranked them that way. I've nothing to complain about the one from CV and Tiong Bahru, but Blk 444 one's the chili was lousy. It's supposed to be slightly watery. &The `han zi hoon` was much much more than the egg. No standard. But, edible. Cause I was super craving for it just now.

Why am I so no life-ish ):

Anyway, Sunday was EngKiat's birthday, where there was a buffet at Mount Faber SAFRA! The food was good. Not the best, but good. I liked the fish cause it's spicy :P. After that, we sneaked into 二姐's car to head to Vivo! The show we wanted to watch was left with lousy seats so we went shopping instead. Just walk around and buy snacks. Was fun, as compared to nuaing at AhMa house, &watching the adults play mahjong.

Gonna buy myself the camera when I saved up enough money :D. But hor, have to buy film &develop one ley. Cannot waste shots and must take skillful pictures! I also have to do `Tidy My Room Part II`. Have to wait til the feeling comes and do it all at one shot. I can feel the sense of satisfaction already :B

I always have inspiration to do things only at night ):

Also, I want to sell away my clothes! Got quite a lot that I don't wear anymore but I'm noob at fleas and have no inspiration to start a blogshop, although I very much want to. Have to start thinking of ways to earn money. Want to earn a lot of money! Why is money so important? :\


REACHED THE LIMIT FOR THE THIRD TIME ZZ.


I could post again for awhile, then I'm over the limit again! What is the limit?!


I actually reached the status update limit on Twitter! How?! I want to continus tweeting $0 ley! Hope the remaining tens I sent via SMS will be posted later on, otherwise it'll be so wasted and I will go bang door.


One turns super desperate, one moves one. I wonder why. It's like a split road, both going to opposite directions. I can't say parallel cause we're not aiming at the same thing. In fact, we're aiming at two totally different things. They say `opposites attract`, but we repel.

Anyway, that's over and that's that.

Going to Bugis tomorrow, for their tuition, and my LJS lunch. &I'm still quite semi-actively tweeting $0 for the word challenge. I really want to win that money. It's not 10k, it's (total number of tweets x $0.01) + $0.01! That's a lot. Would be so discouraged if I don't get it x:

With that money, I'll be super encouraged to study for the coming-in-less-than-a-month O level exams! Then I can also go overseas :B. Of course, I win already won't go and announce to everyone lah! If you find that I suddenly become QUITE generous, I might have won! Or maybe I'm just in a super good mood.. Then I will keep my winnings a secret, unless you somehow find out. Also, I will leave at least 80% of it in the bank to collect interest.

My overseas trip ley? Use 20% of it and top up the rest somehow la! I need to get a job and be realistic, actually >.>

I'm actually dreaming about winning and what to do with the money already, hahaha!

Okay, back to thinking of coherent and non-gibberish tweets :D

Tsk, you can ignore my tweets now cause it'll be about the competition 95% of the time!

samantha t.
too tall for my own shoes

1993
☼☼☼

lookbook.nu