Computer is down again.

I've been thinking. Everything is upside-down for me these days. I keep complaining to friends, I guess they are already kind of irritated with me saying the same line over and over again. I have protective friends, I'm thankful for that. But does it make any difference?

They've been there for me all the time, during my ups and downs. I've been a bitch to them, but they still stood by me. They listened to all my grumblings and complaints, all the time. What's next? Me all drunk and them having to heave me home?

I've already moved on, but I have to wake up. Things will never be the same again, no matter how hard I try.

I miss the way you smell like.
I miss the way you frown.
I miss the way you would control my expenses.

I miss the way you would look longingly at the arcade games. You may not think that I realised it, but I did. Nothing will be like before anymore.

Skipping school won't change anything. Spiralling into depression won't help anything. Doing this to myself won't make things the same again. So why am I still being so hard on myself?


Fuck off you twit. Zz.

I'm super troubled. Like I woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. But it was actually `Samantha, 起来！我要去做工but 我的iPhone say no signal ley!` Then I dragged myself out of bed S: &just 10minutes ago, when I was falling asleep, Mama called, &Pearlyn screamed `SAMANTHA! THE MOUSE EXPLODE LEY!` Wtfxzs.

Shall just stay awake already.

Went to EHub for icecream with Andy last night. Waited like crazy and didn't get our Table #1 in the end:\. Then we walked home and suddenly went silent when we reached the bend after the bus stop. Because!, there was a funeral. I'm terrified of those, I don't know why. But apparently, Andy is quite, too. Haha! &there's 2 of that in our estate now :\

I must go to school tomorrow.

JingWei twits!, for fun.



Samantha you bitch, move on already. Stop holding on to nothing.

People tell me, `Onlookers see best`. The same group of people tell me it's not worth my time, effort, energy, &my heart. But what if I want to? What if I realised he was all I ever wanted? I'm going to take decades to get over this. I regretted, I cried, everything. But will anything change? :\


It's not a good sign when I want to `think through things`, cause I'll get emo-y and cry at everything. So stop me if I say that. But sometimes, don't stop me S:

I realised many things over these 2 weeks. I understood misery, and I understood selfless.

There're somethings so private I can't blog about, because it not only involves me, but 2 other people I love too. Sometimes, I wish I can just shoot everything out. Blabber it all out. I'd feel much better. Ohwell, nobody would understand anyway.

Sometimes, I still miss you, a lot.


Seriously, what's the point of talking to me if you're still using that fucked up tone. Say I'm rebellious, say I'm useless, WHATEVER. I don't care what you think even if you're the last man on Earth.

I don't regard you as my father, because you are not fit to be one.


Birthday was fairly enjoyable. I had two cakes and nothing to go into detail with. Got spammed with over 20 smses in the morning, and shocked int he afternoon by a call from Andy that bitch. But it made my day:)

Not to forget, thanks to the people who remembered :D


I fell sick and blew out yellow mucus today. Wanna see?

samantha t.
too tall for my own shoes

1993
☼☼☼

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